The physical side of depression

Warning, this may get graphic and personal. You know what really sucks? When you have depression and are going through so much stress that it starts to affect you physically. Honestly, I didn't know it could happen. I have never had it happen until it did. From what I can remember, it started with getting served at work. I'm writing this mostly to remind myself of what I went through so that when she tries to contact me I can remain strong. i got served at work. It was so fucking embarrasing! I still can't believe it. My mom sued me. For grandparents rights. Right after her husband plead guilty to sexual battery of my daughter. She was 10. In her lawsuit she wanted my kids every 3rd weekend (at the place the abuse occurd) and two weeks in the summer. WWWWWWWWWWWWWWwwhat the fuck? It didn't take long until I couldn't move my head. My neck and shoulders were in so much pain from the stress Im assuming. I've had pneuemonia, and here comes the embarrasing part, an emergency colonoscopy (due to rectal bleeding) that ended up being a fissure. The pain was so horrendous I remember taking shots of tequila to go to the bathroom. Nothing helped and it was the most pain I have ever been in in my life and it lasted about a year. I started this post in April of this year. Why is it so hard to get my words out? I have so much to say. So many words floating through my brain with no other way to escape. I saw my therapist tonight and even though I have so much going on, she kept monopolizing the conversation. How do you tell you therapist that you don't care about their life? Rephrase, its not that I don't care. Its that Im paying a professional to privode a service that Im not getting. Im paying you to listen to me. It's hard enough when you dont have much of a support system but then you can't even pay for a support system.