A failure in a system that fails you

An invisable illness and a society that doesn't believe you is a special hell. People don't believe you and even worse think they can treat you with their toxic positivity. I've heard it my whole life. You're too sensitive. Fuck, I hate that word. Why is it a bad thing that I feel and not that you don't? I feel so beat down all of the time. Today it feels like alot. Im so fucking tired. All of the time. Like benedryl tired. I had an appt with the psych this week. We are reapplying for Sprovato. Im not sure why. Its good I guess, my psych seems to be finally taken an interest. I got it through the manufacturer last year but with the psych office billing $600 an office visit my insurance quickly said no. So, I stopped for awhile. Cant afford it and I had a $6000 bill very easily. I even stopped therapy because It was too expensive. I work for the state and dont make enough, especially with this crazy inflation. $15/ hour. $35 co pays adds up. Right now Im basically living off of my credit card. Which obviouslly isnt great because its my debt to income being the reason I cant qualify for a house. Or make more money. Ive been searching for jobs and houses and its so overwhelmig. Being priced out of rent and ownership. I got my crazy adorable dog as an esa and she has so many health issues right now. SM and seizures. I just oicked up her seizure meds, fuck me $50 a month. I just called the vet today about the pain meds. I feel like her sm has gotten worse. She shakes and itches all the time. I started this May 7. I seem to keep doing that. Starting these posts and taking months to finish it. I qualified for sprovato for free through the manufacterer due to being low income. But how does one actually get in when your insurance won't even pay the office visit? The psych office did offer care credit hahah. or I can pay cash $200 a visit. How does one get the care they need when they cant afford it? It's insane and just may drive you there if you're not already.